When it comes to masturbation, it’s really easy to get into a bit of a masturbation rut. I’m totally guilty of it — I know what works, I know I can get off insanely fast, so often I just end up going for it. But though that might be effective, it’s also a bit perfunctory — and tends to take all of the joy and sense of occasion out of it. Sometimes you just want to scratch an itch, but sometimes masturbation can really feel like a form of self-care, if you do it right. That’s why, if you feel like you’re in a bit of a rut, it might be time to try edging in the bedroom — solo or with a partner.
If you’re wondering, “What is edging?” don’t worry, you’re not alone.
1. What is ‘edging’?
If you’re not already familiar with edging, it’s time to get started. It’s a great masturbation technique, but equally fun to do with a partner. Basically, it’s all about getting all the way there — almost. You get close to orgasm and then you back way off. For some people, it’s sort of infuriating, but in a really sexy way. For others, they’re already all about the tease. But for everyone, it can lead to stronger orgasms and just a whole lot of fun.
Not sure how to get started? Here’s what you need to know.
2. Delayed pleasure can reap huge rewards
OK, so the idea behind edging is really simple. By taking yourself close to an orgasm but then delaying it, the ultimate payoff will be bigger. Some people already love this idea and involve a lot of it in their sex life and masturbating. For others, it will be a new sensation. So try taking yourself as close to the brink as you can, then pulling back.
If you’re someone who’s gotten into the same old habits, then this exercise alone will be a huge change for you. And if you’re familiar with the sort of “dudd orgasms” that can happen from time to time (I certainly am), I normally find that those come from me just going through the motions, rather than really enjoying it. If you let the pressure build but delay the orgasm, you’ll find a whole new world of sensations — hopefully, one that can knock that rut straight out of you and help you embrace the fun, playful side of masturbation again.
3. It’s incredibly popular
You might not have tried edging, but a lot of women have — because it works. In fact, OMGYes — the amazing female masturbation site that you should definitely try out — polled lots of different women about how they masturbate and found that this was one of the most popular techniques. In fact, a lot of women might be edging without even realizing that’s what it’s called. You start masturbating, you realize you’re not ready to finish yet, so you let the experience go on a little longer. Or maybe you’ve teased your partner right to the edge — those are all forms of edging.
4. It takes the pressure off
It’s easy to see why people love edging. It’s an easy way to try something new in your masturbation or sex routine. It’s also an important reminder that sex isn’t all about the orgasm. If you’re someone who tends to be nervous about the pressure to finish, edging can be really useful as a reminder to you (and maybe your partner) to slow down and play.
“Sex doesn’t need to be linear or goal-oriented,” Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, Toronto-based sexologist and host of the podcast Sex With Dr. Jess, told Health. “You don’t have to get turned on and allow arousal to build in a constant state of ascension.” By edging, you turn your focuses to the build-up itself, rather than the payoff.
And, if you do have trouble finishing, some experts think that edging can increase your desire to orgasm. So it’s a win-win.
5. You can make it work for you
So how do you actually try edging? Well, you can do it a lot of different ways. The basic idea is taking yourself (or a partner) close to orgasm and backing off, but then there’s a lot of room to play with. You may want to keep some stimulation going after you back off, or you may want to walk around and get a glass of water. But then, try again — and get as close or even closer this time.
Don’t be afraid to experiment. You might want to leave a super long time between approaching orgasms, or you may not leave long at all. You might want to get close and back off once or twice before you orgasm — or you might want to keep it going as long as physically possible. There’s no right or wrong way to do it, which is what makes it such a great, easy way to totally change up your routine.
Sometimes, things get a little blah. They just do. If you feel like you’ve reached a plateau — or if you just like to find new ways to mess around — edging is a great way to change things up. It’s a reminder that sex and masturbation are all about the touching, the playfulness, the experimenting. And the stronger orgasms you get from delayed gratification certainly don’t hurt.
Originally posted on Bellesa Collective