There are a lot of different ways you can mark the end of Game of Thrones, which is pretty much guaranteed to be the biggest TV event of our lifetime. You may want to watch all of the episodes in a row, you may want to dress up, you may want to celebrate with your friends. Or, you may just want to bang.
That’s right — it’s a show filled with sex, so why not celebrate it as such? Pretty much 90% of the internet right now is made of GoT and sex, so it made sense that these two would have to collide. We all knew it was heading this way, right? So channel your inner Dragon Queen. Or Jon Snow. Or Tyrion. Or Jaime. Or Cersei. Or that pirate guy whose name I can’t remember. Or Arya — OK, so basically every character on this show has gotten freaky at one time or another, am I right? You can really just pick your favorite and go with it, because there is no shortage of sex on the Game of Thrones set.
So here, because society and the law of the internet requires, are nine sex positions for the Game of Thrones finale. May the heavens forgive me.
1. The Crown
EVERYTHING IS CIRCULAR IN GAME OF THRONES. But the most important circle of them allis the crown. It only makes sense to have O-shaped sex position for the finale.
How To Do It: While your partner sits cross-legged on the floor, lower yourself onto them — you may need lube to get the right fit — and then wrap your legs and arms around them. A great position for dirty talk and/or sweet nothings, depending on what you fancy.
2. The “Why Is Lesbian Sex Always Periphery And Shot Through The Male Gaze Come On GoT You’re Better Than That”
I think the title says it all.
How To Do It: A great position to relax into, one partner lays back while the other straddles their face. Use your tongue, fingers, or a toy — and, of course, you’re probably going to want to swap halfway through. When you’re on top, be aware of how much weight you’re putting on your partner as you’re in the throes of ecstasy — it’s a very sexy position, but breathing is important.
3. The Podrick
Look, no one knows exactly what he did — all we know is that everyone really, really enjoyed themselves. I’m imagining that it looked a little bit like this, but who knows?
How To Do It: A great threesome position for beginners, one person just gets to take in the view and masturbate, while the other two go to town. Doggy style has a great animalistic aspect to it, but feel free to mix it up.
4. The Iron Throne
WHO WILL SIT ON THE IRON THRONE?! In this case, two people. Does that mean I’m stanning Dany and Jon ruling together? Absolutely not — but a chair makes a great throne and a great sex aid, so it would be a shame not to take advantage.
How To Do It: While your partner sits in a chair, straddle them and lower yourself down, facing toward them. Enjoy the bump and grind of it all — or change it up so you’re facing away from them for something a little kinkier.
5. Hold The Door
OR THE WALL. But this position is all about leaning in and bracing yourself, which feels fitting for a show with so many wall- and door-based moments.
How To Do It: Face the wall or something easy to brace against, spread your legs and lift one leg slightly as your partner enters you from behind. You may need lube or props to get everything to work comfortably, so don’t be afraid to play around a bit.
For when you just want to imagine a dragon between your thighs, you feel me?
How To Do It: Like traditional cowgirl (or should we call it dragon-rider?), this option is a little more intimate because your partner is leaning against the wall or a couch — bringing your faces closer together. They can also lift their knees to bring you even closer.
You can’t talk about Game of Thrones sex without a nod to Jaime, Cersei, and incest — so here’s some double trouble for you to enjoy.
How To Do It: If you want to try out group sex and, I don’t know, celebrate the finale with a big ol’ Game of Thrones-style orgy, this is a good place to start. Two couples both in cowgirl position allow you to stick to your own partner or ease into exploring as a group.
8. Dire Wolf Style
I HAD TO DO IT AND I AM SORRY BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE.
How To Do It: In traditional doggy style, take it up a notch by adding your favorite vibe — you can be in control or let your partner use it on you, just expect a lot of sensation.
9. You Know Nothing, Jon Snow
Jon Snow told Ygritte exactly what he wanted to do her, so who I am to deny him that right?
How To Do It: If you really want to go to town with oral sex, then it doesn’t get much better than this. You’re both seated comfortably, there’s plenty of room and plenty of access — plus you can mix things up with toys or whatever else you’d like. I can only imagine this is what went down for four or five hours in that cave.
Game of Thrones is full of sex, so why not celebrate the finale by getting a little down and dirty yourself? We may not all be Podrick, but hey — we can give it our best shot.
Originally posted on Bustle