There are lots of sex styles, which is great, but the worst is definitely selfish sex partners. But why are people selfish during sex? There’s definitely a bit of a “it’s the thought that counts” when it comes to sex. I mean, if you’re trying, even if it’s not really doing it for me, chances are a little explanation will do the trick. We can talk it out, figure out what we both like, and meet in the middle somewhere. But some people are beyond help. Like there’s not too much that can be done for the guys that jack-rabbit on top of you for 90 seconds, finish, roll off, and then start talking about how amazing it was while you’re just disappointedly blinking (oh hi, ex-boyfriends, didn’t see you there!).
The best partners are ones that are focused on your sexual fulfillment. It’s not a one way street, the best relationships are the ones where you’re both really into each other’s pleasure. But as a woman, it’s even more important to find a partner who’s concerned with your orgasm, because the odds aren’t always in our favor. And both people benefit from it, trust me. Here are 7 reasons why the best sexual partners are all about making you orgasm:
1. Because Finishing Together Happens Way More In the Movies
It seems magical, doesn’t it? Candlelight, flowers, and everyone orgasming while “When 2 Become 1” starts blaring through your soul? The problem is, it pretty much never happens that way. Dr. Kristen Mark explains that only 13 percent of men 11 percent of women report simultaneous orgasms regularly. So for the best sex we need to be focused on individual orgasms (they’re all still fun for both of us!).
2. Because, Ladies, We Can Have Lots
“Men shirts, short skirts” and being able to orgasm like a billion times. Why didn’t Shania Twain sing about that? It’s definitely one of the best parts about being a woman, so you should be with a partner wanting to experiment with that potential.
3. There Is A Massive Gap
So it turns out 57 percent of women report orgasming every time or most of the time, but the same women reported that 95 percent of their (male) partners finished every time. What? That’s not fair at all. The best partners won’t stand for such blatant inequality.
4. Not Everyone Will Make Sure You Get Yours
OK, speaking of, it turns out 72 percent of women have had a partner finish and thennot help them have an orgasm. What the actual eff? That’s mental. I orgasm pretty easily and I would never be like “Oh, I’ve had mine, tough luck for you!”. I’ve never had a partner not want to make sure I finish if he comes first, but apparently it’s happening. Like a lot. These are not the partners you want.
5. Female Orgasm Starts In The Brain
A study by Pascal De Sutter of University of Louvain in Belgium of 251 women found that erotic thoughts were key to female orgasm. And what’s more erotic that knowing your partner is really into getting you off? Plus, there’s definitely nothing less sexy than a partner who doesn’t seem to care if you’re having a good time.
6. It Shows Your Partner Is Not an Ass
To each their own in bed, but if a partner isn’t interested in you enjoying yourself there, it doesn’t bode well for the rest of your relationship. Not only are sex lives a key part of any relationship, they also reflect other parts of your relationship, like the ability to communicate and mutual respect. Better sex partners make better significant others.
7. It Creates an Amazing Turn on Cycle
Pretty much everyone’s biggest turn on is turning the other person on, right? The great thing is, it takes the pressure off of you worrying about your own orgasm if you’re focused on the other person, and if your partner is doing the same thing then both of you relaxed and just trying to turn the other person on, which turns you on, and voila! Amazing sexy cycle. Go try it.
Originally posted on Bustle