I hate talking on the phone. Texting/WhatsApp/whatever the kids are doing these days, any kind of messaging is my primary form of communication. As in, there are pretty much zero actual phone calls in my life now and the site of a buzzing phone actually panics me a bit. Phone calls, ridiculously, feel like so much work, so we’ve all learned how to say anything that could possibly need to be communicated in a message instead. And, when you’re single, it seems like you’re texting a ton of people all the time. Whether it’s crushes, exes, or even other single friends, you’re probably on your phone more often than not. There are plenty of text messages you only receive when you’re single.
The annoying text from your crush, that message from your parents, your friend explaining an intense night out— we’ve all gotten all of the texts. And now there are emojis. And now even my Mom knows how to use emojis. So amazing/annoying/absurd texting has been taken to a whole new level. But even though there are a thousand different ways to chat it up, some things are still universal.
Here are eight texts all single women receive, because emojis and a keyboard are really all you need:
1. The “My Friend Has Made A Bad/Awesome Decision” Text
Friends don’t let friends… OK, friends let friends do things that are awesome and hilarious.
2. The Aggressive Stranger From A Dating App Sext
Jump right in there with both feet there, sir.
3. The Friend Explaining The Aggressive Stranger Sext
I was put swiftly in my place.
4. The “My Single Friend Is Having A Dark Day” Text
Some days you just need to join them all. Dark moon.
5. The “No, I’m Not Coming Out Friday Night” Text
I don’t normally bail, BUT SOMETIMES I DO OK!?
6. The “It’s Time For Sex But I Don’t Want To Be All Romantic About It” Text
Not every night is a Neruda night, am I right?
7. The Text From The Person Who Ghosted You Eight Months Ago
Yeah, I would like to report junk!
8. The Ex Sext Fake-Out
As you can see this is an actual message I sent. Because I felt the need for someone who has been inside me to see that face. My own little version of We Are Never Getting Back Together.
Originally posted on Bustle