I love being naked. I am a naked person. My poor neighbors across the street have seen me do anything from dishes to cross-training in the buff. But being getting naked in closer proximity is way more nerve wracking. The first time you’re naked with someone new can make you feel so vulnerable, especially if you struggle with body confidence anyway. So how do you feel confident when you’re naked?
The difference between feeling confident in your coolest outfit and makeup to suddenly being completely out there can be staggering. But it shouldn’t be. Because once you’re naked with someone you know that they’re already attracted to you— or else it wouldn’t have gotten this far. And now that you’re naked… well, they’ve probably got other things on their mind then the stray hair you’ve been obsessing over. They’re thinking about how they want to have sex with you. Either that or they’re focused on their insecurities, because unfortunately it happens to everyone. But being naked together can be so much fun, and so freeing. It should be silly and joyful and intimate. And once you get over your hang-ups (and I know it’s easier said than done) it can be a massive confidence boost because you see how much they’re loving you in the nude.
So here are seven thoughts you need extinguish when you’re naked with someone for the first time, because there are so many better things to be thinking about:
1. Why Are The Lights On?
Do it with the lights on. Do it. Because watching sex is so sexy and when you see how turned on they’re getting looking at you, it’s going to ease your nerves a bit.
2. Why Is There Hair There?
Maybe you didn’t shave your butt. Maybe you thought you waxed your leg and missed half of it. Or maybe there’s a stray nipple hair that escaped your tweezers. It happens. Body hair has never put me off sex with a man or a woman. It just doesn’t. We all have it, and many people find it sexy, so don’t worry about it.
3. Why Are They Touching There?
It’s easy to get jumpy when someone starts touching an area you’re self-conscious about. I am hugely comfortable naked, but a hand near my stomach still makes me flinch, so I get it. But they’re touching it because they like it, so try to take it as a positive thing.
4. Do I Look OK?
They’re having sex with you. They’re seeing you naked. They want to be doing these things. You looking effing fine to them.
5. Why Are They Looking At That?
One of the most self-conscious moments can be when someone’s looking at you naked. Although their eyes are glued because they like what they’re seeing, you can start feeling scrutinized. I’ve never heard of someone staring in disgust during sex, so try to notice the look of happiness on their faces, and not just the fact that they’re staring.
6. How Can I Get My Clothes On Under The Blanket?
A favorite awkward morning-after naked thought. Even if you were all sexy and comfortable during the evening, sometimes the cold light of day makes naked feel that much more naked. But you know what, getting dressed under the blanket is ridiculous. We all look a bit less sexy bent over and hiking up our underwear (or even worse, tights), but it’s all a part of the experience so try to embrace it.
7. Oh God— The Mirror
You popped to the bathroom, or stood up in the room and suddenly you’re naked with makeup smudged all over your face lights reflecting it all back to you in the mirror. Don’t panic. Firstly, they don’t look their best in the morning or staggering about at 3 a.m, either. Secondly, remember those bags under your eyes and slightly sweaty hair are badges of honor from a night well spent.
Originally posted on Bustle