It’s hard to admit when you fall out of love. I don’t know if you’ve ever done it, but it’s a whole lot messier than falling into it. Falling into love is amazing, and you normally want to shout it from the rooftops. But being honest that you just don’t feel the same way anymore is tough, and dealing with the fact that you’ve invested a whole of time in something that didn’t work out is even tougher. You shouldn’t feel badly about, because it’s happens to a lot of people. Sometimes it’s because something truly awful happens and you can’t repair things like you think you could, and sometimes love fades away.
It doesn’t always have to be awful— sometimes it’s just not the same anymore and you can’t really figure out why. But it’s important to be self-aware and realize what’s happening so you know you either need to make some major relationship changes to try and save it or decide that it’s time to move on. No matter what your next step is, you need to know when to get started.
So here are six ways to know you’re falling out love, because even after the honeymoon period there should still be some spark:
1. The Cute Little Things Aren’t So Cute Or Little Anymore — They’re Incredibly Annoying
The way they sneeze with that little squeak was so cute, right? So when did it become so loud and shrieky? And when did they start sneezing all the damned time? When you start to fall out of love, sometimes the intoxication goes first and sobering up means realizing how annoying all those habits actually are and how much you want them to stop. It could be a sign things are about to get tougher.
2. You’re Avoiding Them
You used to want to be around them all the time, but suddenly you’re going to an extra class after work or begging your friends to make more plans than usual. If you find yourself coming up with excuses to get out of the house or reasons why you don’t want to meet up with them, chances are you’ve started lose the love.
3. They’ve Stopped Factoring Into Long Term Plans
When you head over heels, the idea of moving halfway across the world might have made you stop for a second. Even though a relationship should never hold you back from big life choices, you would at least stop to think about how things would affect your relationship. But now the idea of traveling or moving seems pretty OK, and you can’t think of a good reason why not.
4. Your Friends Keep Asking You If Everything’s OK
Trust your friends. Sometimes they can see a change or a shift before you can, either because you genuinely haven’t noticed it yet or because you don’t really want to admit it to yourself. If they keep asking what’s going on in your relationship or if you’re feeling OK, you probably want to stop and ask yourself why. Maybe they’ve noticed the spark going out before you have.
5. The Sex Stops
Yes, I have a high sex drive and yes, the amount of sex you have in LTRs ebbs and flows, but I still maintain that a massive drop in sex can be telling. Whether it happens all at once, or suddenly you realize sex is only happening a tenth of the time it used to, it’s something to pay attention to.
6. You Have A Wandering Eye
It’s completely normal to be attracted to other people when you’re dating someone. People don’t stop being hot just because you’re in a relationship. But if your fantasies go over the top, or if it feels more like an intense crush you can’t stop thinking about, something may be up. I’ve never known anyone to really fancy someone else and talk about it, while being in a relationship where their relationship didn’t fall apart soon after. Sometimes your sex drive just realizes before you do.
Originally posted on Bustle