I’m someone who loves being on my own. I’m totally happy being single. It’s not that I never wanted to date — I’m in a great relationship now— but I’ve spent years of my life being single and not really wanting anything different. For some people, it comes naturally, but even if being single is hard for you at first, there can most definitely come a time when you realize how OK you are with it. Maybe you’ve reached a place where, even if you’d prefer to be with someone, you’re not completely focused on looking for the next relationship or missing your last one. You’re just… OK. It can take some time to get there, and you’ll have your ups and downs when you’re single, but it’s definitely possible to enjoy being on your own.
And it’s great. Because that means you’re in the right place to enter a new relationship. Or to stay single. Or whatever you want to do. The point is, there’s nothing hanging over you, no point that you feel you need to reach or compare yourself to. Nothing that you’re going to make a bad decision for, which, if you’re not someone who has historically enjoyed being single, can sort of take you by surprise. A nice surprise. Because no matter what you want from your romantic life, being able to be OK with just you is a must.
So whether it’s your default state, or something you’ve worked to become, how do your realize that you’re happily single? Here are seven signs that you are totally content on your own.
1. Hanging Out With Couples Doesn’t Make You Feel Like A Third Wheel
Sometimes being out with couples can feel excruciating when you’re single. You feel like they’re being sickly cutesy and in rubbing your face in their couple-ness. And some people may be doing that, but your perception of it is influenced by how single you’re feeling, too. If you’re not enjoying singledom, it can feel a lot more awkward and be something you totally avoid. But if you can have pizza with your favorite couple and not even feel absolutely miserable, all the better.
2. Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Bother You
If you can make it through the ultimate day that divides single people and couplesand glide on by, then you’re probably pretty happy in your single life.
3. You Can Go Months Without Dates
Hey, it’s fine to be want to be set up, check people out in bars, or go on multiple Tinder dates a week — that doesn’t mean you’re unhappy. If you’re looking to meet someone, those are ways to do it! But for some people, that gets exhausting. If you’re happy being single you can probably go months without a date and not even realize you haven’t been dating. You’re just doing you.
4. You’re Not Convinced Everyone You Meet Is “The One”
Being happy when you’re single doesn’t mean you never date or are never looking to meet someone. It just means when you do date, you’re happy to admit when someone wasn’t really for you or when you just don’t click. You’re not trying to escape your singleness at every moment and you’re only going to do it if something really great comes along.
5. You Like Spending Time By Yourself
If you’re totally happy chilling on your own, you’re obviously cool with your single status. Although people in relationships can still really value their alone time (I am totally one of those people), when you’re unhappy being single, it’s going to be on your mind a lot when you’re on your own. But happy singletons don’t dwell on it too much.
6. Your Hobbies Are Bae
You’ve got so much going on, so many things that you love doing, that a lack of relationship isn’t even on your list. When you’re single, you can realize that life can be super busy and full and fun without having anyone else around. You discover your passions and really want to throw yourself into them— not as a distraction, but because you really love all the things you do.
7. You Don’t Feel Like Anything’s Missing
When you’re happily single it’s because you feel totally whole on your own. Maybe it’s your friends, your hobbies, or just your you-time, but you’ve got a full life. There’s no ache, no missing piece, no huge absence. Maybe you’ll get into a relationship soon, maybe not for a while, maybe never. It’s totally cool. You’ve got you.
Originally posted on Bustle