There are a lot of different ways to improve your sex life. A lot of them focus on the physical side of sex, like a new toy or a sex position that provides more stimulation. But it’s important not to forget the emotional improvements that can make your relationship — and your sex life — better.
“The best way to take your relationship to the next level is through emotional vulnerability,” Shirani M. Pathak, licensed psychotherapist and founder of Relationship Center of Silicon Valley, tells Bustle. “When you allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable with your partner from an authentic place, your bond grows to new levels. This emotional intimacy is the foundation for really hot sex in ways that will blow your mind. You’ll be able to share not only your fears, your worries, your concerns, you will also be able to share your fantasies, your desires, and what gets you extra hot and excited in bed.”
How do you increase emotional intimacy? You can focus on having more open, vulnerable conversations with your partner, but you can also try sex positions that put the emphasis on the connection between you. Here are some sex positions that can help you build intimacy, because it can really make a difference to your sex life.
1. Three-Legged Dog
How To Do It: Let’s get started with a challenge. Stand facing your partner and spread your legs slightly, hiking one leg over their hip as they enter you. Lube is highly recommended for this one, as is a soft landing in case you lose your balance.
Why It’s Great: Because it’s a tricky position, you really need to be connected and communicate with your partner, either verbally or non-verbally. And, of course, it feels sexy as hell when you get it right.
2. Modified Doggy
How To Do It: If you like doggy style, start in that position and slowly lower down onto your elbows. If doggy’s not your thing, start laying your stomach and lifting your torso slightly up, adding a pillow under your hips if you need help with the angle.
Why It’s Great: It’s an intense, rear-entry position, but far more intimate than doggy. Plus, you’re in a great position for whispering sweet nothings.
3. Weak In The Knees
How To Do It: This one’s really straightforward. One partner lays back, one does some face straddling. Just make sure there’s enough room for you to comfortably roll off to one side if it all gets too intense up there.
Why It’s Great: There are few things as intimate as someone sitting on your face, but it’s also a great chance to add in a sex toy, some fingering, or whatever feels good.
4. Coital Alignment Technique
How To Do It: This is a variation on missionary, so start with that and then focus on hiking your legs up and around your partner’s hips.
Why It’s Great: It’s just as intimate as missionary, but gives a better opportunity for clit stimulation. What’s not to love?
5. The Voyeur
How To Do It: With two people doing doggy style, the third partner faces them, masturbating with their favorite toy — or just going acoustic.
Why It’s Great: Intimacy doesn’t just have to be between just two people. This position, heavy on the eye contact, makes all three of you vulnerable to each other (in a good way), while providing plenty of sexy views.
6. The Lotus
How To Do It: One of you sits cross legged while the other carefully lowers down. Once your partner is inside of you, wrap your legs and arms around them. It may take a few tries (and some lube), so try to be patient.
Why It’s Great: Whether you want eye contact, being able to whisper to each other, or just a whole lot of skin-to-skin contact, this position definitely delivers intimacy.
7. Modified 69
How To Do It: Take the traditional 69 position, but instead of positioning one person on top of the other, you can both lay on your sides.
Why It’s Great: The 69 position is actually super intimate, but it can also be really awkward, meaning you can lose a lot of that connection. This variation is more comfortable, so you can both really be present in the moment.
How To Do It: Lay facing each other, with your pelvis slightly above theirs. Hook your top leg over their hip as you guide them inside of you — and don’t be afraid to use some lube to help you along the way.
Why It’s Great: It’s a slow, grinding position, and because you’re face-to-face, you can feel really connected.
9. The Plow
How To Do It: Start in missionary, then slowly lift one leg and then the other onto your partner’s shoulders. If that’s too intense, stick with just one leg.
Why It’s Great: This is intensely deep penetration, while still getting face-to-face contact, which means you’re connecting both physically and mentally. It’s a great position if you want a romantic connection, but also still want some intense stimulation.
Intimacy can really improve your relationship — and your sex life. Even if your sex lifeis already great, try taking a moment to step back and experiment with positions that let you really connect. You might just take things to the next level.
Originally posted on Bustle