At the beginning of a relationship, it’s probably obvious how infatuated you are with each other and how much you both value your relationship. It’s an amazing, heady period. But as relationships go on, it can be easy to stop talking, and take it for granted. Now, for some people this isn’t a problem— some people constantly communicate about their emotions and how much they mean to each other all the time— and that’s great. It does a lot of the work for you.
But if you’re someone who has trouble communicating or discussing your emotions, it can be a bit tougher. You don’t want your partner to feel undervalued, so you may have to go out of your way to show them how much you care and how much you appreciate them. It’s easy, but lazy, to assume that they know how much you love them just because you’re still together— a lot of people need more reassurance than that.
The other side is, you don’t want to do some contrived, massive, gesture, if that’s not your personality. It’ll come off as false or a bit forced. But there are lots of smaller, gentler ways to show your partner how much you appreciate them, without having to feel like you’re out of your comfort zone.
Here are five ways to make your partner feel appreciated, because they deserve it:
1. Tell Them
I know it sounds obvious and easy, but don’t underestimate how important it can be to just let them know. Whether you say how lucky you feel, or how thankful you are— just say something. You may think it’s clear how much they mean to you, but don’t expect them to read your mind. Some people need reassurances.
2. Say “Thank You”
If talking a lot about your feelings and how grateful you are isn’t your style, you can go a long way with just remembering to say “thank you”. It’s easy to fall out of the habit of saying it after you’ve been together for a while, but it’s the simplest way to remind them you appreciate what they do. And, science says showing gratitude is the secret to a happy marriage, so it’s bound to have a positive effect on your relationship.
3. Get Them A (Small) Gift
You don’t have to spend a lot of money. It can be that you pick up a cup of coffee for them when you know they’re tired or grab their favorite snack on the way home. Cheap flowers can also say “I’ve been thinking about you” while remaining on a budget — as can writing a nice note. A little token of appreciation can go a long way.
4. Have A Date Night That’s All About Them
Tell them you want to make it their night (or day) and try to make it all about their favorite things, because they deserve it. Whether they pick the food, or the activity, or even just what you watch on TV. It’s a nice way to show that you appreciate all they do and show them you want to give back, without having an over-the-top gesture that makes some people uncomfortable
5. Give Them Some Physical Attention
I don’t mean sex. Well, I probably do, but that’s later. What I’m talking about here is touch — the secret to building intimacy. Giving your partner’s body a little TLC is a great way to show them that you care and you’re there for them. You can always have a bath together or give them a massage, but even a quick foot rub while you’re chatting on the couch will help them relax and let them know you think they deserve a little extra attention for being so great to you.
Originally posted on Bustle