As the sun starts to come out more, the days become longer, and summer looms, it can only mean one thing: wedding season is upon us. I must be at that age where it feels like everyone is getting married, because for the first time I’m looking at my calendar for the summer and realizing between bridal showers and wedding weekends, I’m not going to have time for much else. This means I’m also at the age where my family is asking me about marriage every other second. Seriously, I showed my mom my friend’s engagement ring and her first thought was “DOES THIS MEAN YOU’RE LOOKING AT RINGS?!” No, mom. No it does not.
It’s not that I’m not happy for my friends — but I’m not interested in getting married. Probably ever, but certainly not right now. I haven’t worked out how I even feel about the whole marriage thing yet. But for some reason, people assume that when you’re in your late 20s, the only thing that’s keeping you from getting married is, well… being asked to get married. But there are so many of us who simply aren’t standing around waiting to be asked. We don’t even want to be asked. Or to do the asking. There are so many reasons that engagements may just not be on your mind.
Here are seven reasons you’re not married yet that have nothing to do with waiting on a proposal:
1. You Just Don’t Want To
First off: this is enough of a reason. You should need anything more than this as an explanation. I know that, for most of us, it’s not the realistic. Most of us will be pummeled by questions from relatives until we come up with something better. But really, if you don’t want to, it’s nobody’s business. You may just not believe in marriage or see what the big deal is. And even if your relatives can’t accept that, your friends should.
2. You’re Focusing On Your Career
It’s totally OK to focus on other parts of your life instead of relationships. If your career is the love of your life right now, as long as you’re happy, that should be all that matters. And investing in your career now may be helpful in the long run.
3. You’re Just Doing You
What if it’s not a career? What if you just want to try living in a different country,spend time with your friends and family, or figure out what you really want out of life and a relationship? There’s nothing wrong with just doing you.
4. You Don’t Think It’s Worth The Money
Have you seen the average cost of a wedding? It’s over $31,000. THIRTY ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS. Here are things you could do with that money: travel around the world, put it toward a house deposit, buy 7,750 jars of Nutella and be happier than anyone else in the history of all time.
5. You And Your Partner Are Committed… And That’s All You Need
You both know that you care about each other, you both know you’re committed. If you don’t really want to get married, why would you? Societal pressure is very much not worth the hassle. It’s between you and your partner.
6. You Want To Be Single
Some people don’t want to be married. Some people don’t even want to be in a damn relationship. If you have no interest in paring up at all, you shouldn’t have to.
7. You’re Holding Out
There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want. At a time where most of your friends seem to be settling down around you— or even working to a specific life timeline they’ve had for years — it can be easy to have a knee jerk reaction and feel like you need to settle down too, like it’s what makes you grown-up or something. But the truth is, some people marry the wrong people for the sake of being married. It’s way more mature to hold out for something you really want, deal with the awkward questions, and not give into peer pressure. You’ll be happier long-term.
Originally posted on Bustle