There are a lot of benefits of being single. Whether you’re someone who prefers to be in a relationship or is normally flying solo, everyone can benefit from some time on their own. And some of the benefits are pretty obvious ones. You have more freedom, more flexibility — and you’re not trapped in a relationship just for the sake of being with someone.
“I’d rather be single, in a comfortable relationship with myself, than trapped in a dysfunctional, toxic relationship with someone else,” certified relationship coachRosalind Sedacca tells Bustle. “Being single gives me freedom so I don’t waste time or energy on a relationship partner who doesn’t value me and my attributes. I’ve given up drama and appreciate my life as it is now.”
But there are also other benefits — some that you might not have thought of yet. Because although it’s great to have the freedom to be on your own and maybe even go on on a bit of a sexual walkabout, there are other reasons that being single can totally rock your socks off. Here are the benefits that you might not have thought of.
1. You Can Fill Your Life With Things That Actually Make You Happy
So many people equate relationships and happiness— but that’s just not true for every relationship (or every person). “If you’re happy, then there’s no reason to push yourself to be in a relationship just because society expects it,” Kali Rogers, founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, tells Bustle. “Happiness is not a one size fits all, and can only be measured by the person experiencing it. So if being single makes you happy, stay single! That’s all there is to it.” If what makes you happy is travel, nights out with friends, hobbies, whatever — you have the chance to do it.
2. You Know You Can Trust Yourself
There’s something really gratifying about knowing you’re not being swept along with the crowd just for the hell of it. “You’re being true to yourself,” New York–based relationship expert and author April Masini tells Bustle. “Getting a date — even getting married — is not that difficult. But doing it on your terms because you’re ready and you think your partner is the right one takes discrimination, hard work and time… You’re living your life and being true to yourself by doing your diligence and living honestly.”
Knowing that you’re being authentic and demonstrating good judgement is a huge benefit.
3. Your Life Isn’t Stuck On A Certain Trajectory
Once you’re coupled up, there’s an expectation: Move in, marriage, babies. Even if you don’t do any of those things, you’re still constantly fighting against that expectation. “Society promotes, encourages, and rewards coupledom and particularly marriage,” relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW, tells Bustle. “This is particularly hard on single women because unmarried men are portrayed as ‘sowing their oats’ or ‘playing the field’ while unmarried women are considered to be old maids that are left on the shelf.”
But the upside is, if you’re single, you’re not following that script— and so you can write your own expectations.
4. Fewer Responsibilities
Being in a relationship can be amazing, but it also means taking on a lot of responsibilities and priorities that weren’t yours to begin with. Their friends, their family, their needs — all of these can take up a lot of time and a lot of energy.
“I think that some people are meant to be single,” psychologist Nikki Martinez tells Bustle. “They are confident, they love their lives, they love the ability to have no deep-rooted responsibilities that would keep them from doing things at the drop of a hat.” And there’s nothing wrong with that.
5. You Get To Design Your Own Life (And Apartment)
Some people like their damn space. Both in the sense of their life generally — and just how their home is organized. “If you enjoy living alone and spending time by yourself, you would prefer not to have to negotiate for what you want with a partner, or your real love is your career, then perhaps you are better off being single,” Tina B. Tessina, aka Dr. Romance, psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences, tells Bustle. Cohabitation can be great, but it involves a lot of compromise. Being single means you don’t have to do that.
6. Your Other Relationships Flourish
Sure, it can feel like everyone else is coupled up when you’re single — but take a moment to think about how much those other relationships actually grow because you don’t have a partner.
“I think it is true that women are empowered to cultivate emotional resources that make them more able to be happy while single,” dating coach and certified matchmaker Francesca Hogi tells Bustle. While maintaining friendships is obviously important even when you’re dating, they almost always get more attention when you’re single.
7. And So Does Your Bank Account
In some ways, it’s a myth that couples are better off financially. “While couples can split many costs, that doesn’t put single women at a disadvantage. In fact, being single can be a huge advantage,” account Michael Eckstein tells Bustle. “When you’re single, you never have to clear ideas with a second person and you never have to compromise. This makes decisions a lot simpler and allows for extra savings opportunities.” You’re also not responsible for anyone else’s doubt or even their wants. If you’re looking to get your financial ducks in a row, being single can make it a lot smoother.
There are a lot of benefits to being single — and many they go beyond the obvious. If you’re worried about being on your own, just look at all the ways it can make actually your life better. There are some amazing opportunities, even if it’s hard at first.
originally posted on Bustle