How To Make Better Use Of Your Vibrator, According To Sex Experts

There are some things that seem totally mysterious until you get the hang of them — and figuring out how to use a vibrator correctly is definitely one of those things. Many of us are totally overwhelmed (and a little terrified) at the idea of using a vibrator, until we realize how amazing they can be. And, as soon as you start using them, you probably realize that they are, well, pretty straightforward. It’s masturbation, not rocket science, after all.

For many of us, vibrators aren’t so much a luxury as a necessity. “Vibrators kind of level the playing field for women in the bedroom,” Claire Cavanah co-founded Babeland, tells Bustle. “A lot of women really need the consistent stimulation on their clitoris to have same experience as men have.”

Whether or solo or with a partner, you might need some battery-powered assistance to help get you there. And even if you are someone who can experience an orgasm without one, there’s no reason you can’t use one to enhance your experience. But many of us don’t get the most out of our vibes, because we get too used to our routine. Here’s what you need to know about how to use a vibrator correctly, because the great ones have a lot to give.

1. Pick The Right One

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Using a vibrator correctly starts with picking the right one. Do you want something small or big? Clitoral, G-spot, or both? Anal? You can browse online if you want privacy or head into a sex toy shop where someone can talk you through your options.

But don’t just focus on the utilitarian aspect — for the ultimate vibrator experience, pick out one that you love. There are so many sleek, modern options out there that, frankly, can be downright beautiful. “Over the last decade, our culture has begun waking up and challenging the stigma that has plagued this category for so long,” Ti Chang, co-founder and VP of design at sex toy company Crave, tells Bustle. “With the rise of women across the globe in various movements, women are also demanding serious design and consideration for products for intimacy. So the design of sex toys is evolving to meet the design and manufacturing standards of other modern consumer products. Why should a product for pleasure be any less beautiful or functional than any other everyday product?”

When you use something that you really love, it can make the whole experience feel sexier and less perfunctory. “When people embrace their pleasure, it helps them lead richer, more expressive and more empowered lives,” Chang says. “Products for pleasure should enhance this, both with the object itself and also the experience of using that object. An object that you feel you need to hide after use because it is embarrassing to look at is not a good experience.” Even on a budget, there are plenty of sex toy options to choose from.

2. Give Yourself Some Time Exploring

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Once you’ve gotten your perfect vibe, it’s time to take it for a ride. If you’re underwhelmed at first, that’s OK. You may have to use it a few times before you really get the hang of it, so don’t be afraid to experiment. “Using your vibrator can range from a quickie to relieve stress, to a full-fledged pleasure adventure,” Alicia Sinclair, CEO of b-VibeLe Wand, and The Cowgirl tells Bustle. “Mixing up the way you approach your time with your vibrator can drastically change your experience. Instead of trying to reach orgasm as fast as you can, try playing a power game with yourself — like edging. Keep building tension with your vibe, then switch to a lower setting or remove the vibrator all together when you feel yourself getting close to the finish line. Do this until you can’t take it anymore.”

Not sure where to start? Begin by getting yourself turned out through porn, erotica, or just a little feeling around, then move into using the vibe on a low setting. Build the intensity as and when you please.

3. Use It With A Partner

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You might think your vibe is just for you, but it doesn’t have to be. “For years, vibrators were positioned as solitary devices, essentially as something women used when a man wasn’t available/if they didn’t have a partner,” Stephanie Alys, co-founder and Chief Pleasure Officer of MysteryVibe, tells Bustle. “I suspect much of that thinking came from the fact that men not only dominated the media, they dominated the production of pleasure products. For that generation the idea that the man alone can not get a woman to orgasm was ego-threatening. That’s starting to change.” Especially if you need a vibe to orgasm, there’s every reason to incorporate it into the bedroom.

4. Use Lube

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“Lube can always enhance any sexual experience,” Sinclair says. “Not only does lube reduce friction for comfort, but it also enhances the sensation of the vibrations. Be sure that you’re using a water-based lube with your silicone toys, and always use lube with any toys for anal play.”

5. Try Different Vibration Patterns

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Also make sure that you’re not just using one aspect of your toy. “Explore all of the capabilities of your vibrator to make sure you’re getting the most out of your vibrator experience. Is there a vibration pattern you haven’t tried? Have you been intimidated by the highest power setting? Does the vibrator come with an attachment? Be open to all that your vibrator has to offer, you may find a new favorite way to play.”

6. Change Positions

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You can also mix up the position to enhance the experience. “Laying on top of your vibrator for hands-free fun is definitely a position that deserves more love,” Sinclair says. “Whether you’re on your belly or sitting up right, grinding against your vibe rather than holding it directly to you can add a whole new world of friction. This can also be easily incorporated into partnered sex — try laying your vibe under you next time your on the giving end for oral sex.” It’ll keep things exciting and keep you from becoming too reliant on one way of orgasming, if that’s something you worry about.

Getting used to using your vibrator is easy, but getting the most out of it is something else entirely. Make sure to keep things exciting, because, if you do it right, it’s the ultimate way to treat yourself.

Originally posted on Bustle