There are so many benefits of being single, but for some reason we don’t always focus on the positives. I spent most of my adult life single and had no interest in being in a relationship. And I genuinely enjoyed it. I had a lot on my plate, was moving back and forth between countries, and just wasn’t interested in a relationship. That never stopped me from having a great time.
But I think part of enjoying being single is really owning it. It’s more than just coming to terms with it — I don’t think there’s anything to come to terms with, but society certainly does — it’s celebrating it. And rather than focusing on the negatives, look at all the fun, fulfilling stuff you can expect out of being single. Because there are so many great aspects of single life and you deserve them all.
It can be hard to remember in a society, or maybe even a family or friendship group, where you’re constantly treated like you’re doing it wrong just because you’re not in a relationship. You’re not doing anything wrong. Being single is a completely legitimate choice and you deserve to have an awesome time doing it. Trust me.
So here are seven things you deserve out of single life — and hearing about clocks ticking definitely isn’t one of them:
Can we stop feeling bad for single women? Please? What is there to pity about being independent, taking care of yourself, not settling for the first relationship that comes along, and figuring out what you really want out of life? We should respect people for not getting into relationships when they’re not ready and for owning being self-sufficient. It’s about time.
2. Not Facing A Million Questions
“Do you want to be in a relationship?” “Why are you single?” “Why don’t you lower your standards?” Nope. Nope, nope, nope. It’s not anyone’s business. You deserve to be able to live on your own terms, without answering to anyway. Feel free to ignore them.
3. Not Dealing With Comments About Any. Effing. Clocks. Ticking.
Seriously. Seriously. You don’t deserve this. Your life choices are your own. Whether or not you want kids — and certainly pressuring you to have them now — should be a no-go area.
4. A Sense Of Self
One of the great things about being single is getting an authentic sense of you. What you want in life, how you like to spend your time, who you want to be with, if you even want to be with someone — it’s a great time to learn about yourself. You’ll be all the better to head into a relationship… if you decide to get into one.
5. Some Great Adventures
Being single means freedom. It’s not that you can’t do what you want in a relationship — that’s part of a healthy relationship, obviously — but there’s something indulgent and amazing about being able to do what you want, when you want without being accountable to anyone. Stay out until 7 a.m. with your friends, go on a last-minute vacation, flirt outrageously with someone ridiculous. You deserve an adventure.
6. Good Sex
One of the reasons I like being in a relationship is that I firmly believe having regular sex with someone is the best way to have amazing sex, but you can definitely find great sex outside of a relationship too. Get a f*ck buddy, hook up with that guy or girl from the office party, try a new position on a crazy one-night stand. Always stay safe, but remember that you deserve a mind-blowing, satisfying sex life, even if you’re not attached.
7. A Damn Good Time
Bottom line. Being single shouldn’t not be looked at as “problem” that needs a solution — it should be a damn good time. Even if you’d rather be in a relationship, you deserve to treat yourself, do you want you want, learn, be indulgent, challenge yourself, and grow during this time. Being able to adventure, live on your own terms, and learn about yourself is such a great opportunity. Own it.
Originally posted on Bustle