How much sex do couples really have? It’s easy to start wondering if the amount of sex you’re having is the same as everyone else. Over the course of a relationship, the amount that feels right to you might change — and then you might wonder all the more. Luckily, a recent AskWomen Reddit thread had women who live with their partners sharing the amount of sex they actually have. And the results were really interesting.
But before you start comparing your number to the people of Reddit, remember that there’s no “right” amount to have sex and there’s definitely no “normal” sex drive. “A healthy sex drive is different for each person,” Amy Levine, sex coach and founder ofIgnite Your Pleasure, tells Bustle. “Overall, it’s when we feel balanced in our desire (it feels good to us, as opposed to something being off whether too high or low) and sexually fulfilled whether it’s alone or with a partner.” Even the people in the Reddit thread were constantly commenting on how big the range is — and that, no matter what works for you, it’s totally OK.
So how much sex were these real people having? From more than once a day to less than once a month, there was really a lot of variation. Here’s what the people of Reddit had to say.
1. It Depends
Around once or twice a week seemed to be one of the most common answers — and I’m sure many of us can relate to work stress and tiredness playing a role.
2. It Still Happens
At least twice a week with opposite shifts and children? That’s pretty impressive.
3. It’s Less Than Monthly
Even though this wasn’t the most common answer, there were quite a few respondents who were in the less than once-a-month category. If that what works for you, then there’s nothing wrong with that.
4. It’s Down To A Lot Of Factors
That’s still a very high frequency considering all of those factors — they must be a pretty resilient couple.
5. It’s Most Days
Or all days, depending on the week.
6. It’s Down To Him
I feel like this could be saying one of two things: that only a man gets to decide when to have sex, which doesn’t seem OK at all. Or it could be saying that her partner just happens to have a lower sex drive so he determines when they do it — which would make a lot more sense.
7. It’s A Juggling Act
A lot of people will have experienced this — when you not only have different sex drives, but also want to have sex at different times. It’s a bit of a balancing act, but you can normally find a compromise.
8. It’s Bounced Back
A lot of different things can temporary affect your sex drive, but things can come around again. If you’re finding that your sex drive has dropped, try not to panic, because there are so many explanations for it.
9. It’s All Tracked
I didn’t know that that app exists but now I already want to try it.
10. It’s About Monthly
If you don’t have sex very frequently, it may be hard to keep track of exactly when you had it last. That’s OK, as long as you’re both satisfied.
11. It’s On The Reg
They are not missing any opportunities.
12. It’s All The Time
No, these people are definitely not missing any opportunities. I don’t know how long they’ve been together, but if you can manage that while living together than power to you.
13. It’s Scheduled
That sounds like a busy schedule, but she’s definitely making it work.
If you’ve ever worried about whether the amount of sex you have is “normal” then this list should calm your fears. From 10 times a week to once every few months, there’s definitely no normal. It’s all about you and your partner being happy with your arrangement. So keep the communication going and things should be just fine.
Originally posted on Bustle