The problem with being stuck in a sex rut is that you might not even notice it. Your sex life might have just gotten comfortable and then slowly you start to realize that it’s gone a little too comfortable. And when that starts, before long at least one of you is going to get a little bored. It doesn’t mean the sex is bad, it just means that you need to start making the effort again.
“A relationship is like a bicycle, when one of the wheels is flat, it will still go, but not well,” Eric Marlowe Garrison, sex and relationship counselor, and author of the book Mastering Multiple Position Sex tells Bustle. “Even if only one partner is in that sex rut, it’s going to affect the relationship sexually. When you need something that your partner doesn’t need, it’s difficult to understand why they don’t need it.”
So if you’re getting the slightest feeling that you’re stuck in your comfort zone— or that your partner is feeling a little less than enthralled with your sex life — you need to nip the problem in the bud by trying something different. And you need to do it before it affects the rest of your relationship. So what can you do? Here are five sex acts that will get you of your comfort zone:
1. Work On Your Oral Sex Game
Maybe it’s just me, but I find that oral sex is always something that you really get into and don’t end up zoning out in the way you can with penetrative sex. I’ve had a lot of friends complain that oral sex is one of the first things to go in their long-term relationships, so make a point to bring it back.
Get in a position where you both are really comfortable — like one of you sitting on the bed and the other on the floor, then really take your time and get into it.
2. Power Plays
Playing with power is not only incredibly sexy, it’s a definite switch out of your comfort zones. The are a lot of ways to mix it up. If your partner is normally on top, you try getting on top for a while. Or maybe you take over the moving in doggy style. Even try switching positions more than normal, to really feel like you’re mixing things up.
3. Get A Vibrator
Fun for men and women alike, I promise. There are lots of sex toys out there for couples, but a bullet vibrator or vibrating cock ring means both of you get a boost, without them being too big or intimidating if you’re not used to them. Start with something small and next thing you know you’ll be building up to the big stuff.
4. Adding Lube
OK, if you’re not ready for the vibrator, adding lube to everything makes it better. Hand jobs. Missionary. Pasta sauce. So, not the last one. But lube isn’t just amazing when you desperately need it, if you’re looking for a way to break out of your comfort zone but you’re scared of trying a new sex act, add lube to your old one. Trust.
5. Mutual Masturbation
Mutual masturbation might not be something you’ve tried before, but it’s worth it. Not only is it really sexy, it’s also a totally different view of your partner than you normally get, so a perfect way to mix things up. Even more than that, watching your partner means you get a crash course in exactly how they like it — and that’s never a bad thing.
Originally posted on Bustle