My relationship involves a lot of exciting trips and activities and dates, but it also involves a lot of sweatpants and “Oh my god babe, come look at how big this pimple is!” I love feeling comfortable enough for that. But what happens if a relationship is all comfort? There is such a thing as being too comfortable in your relationship. And if you get stuck in a comfort zone, you’ll want to get out of it before your relationship becomes stale or you start to resent each other.
So what’s the first step? Decide that you’re going to do something. Anything. And then build some anticipation. “Plan something together,” life coach Kali Rogers Kali Rogers tells Bustle. “Just like people need promotions in their work in order to feel challenged and rewarded, couples need to feel that same adrenaline rush in a relationship.”
Whatever you decide is the best way to get out of your comfort zone in your relationship, make sure to put it in the calendar and give yourselves something to look forward to. If you need some ideas for what that should be, here are seven ways to get our of your comfort zone, because novelty is key:
1. Try A New Activity
A bungee jump class, a painting class, a bibimbap cooking class — just something different. “When you try new things together you are creating shared experiences that are new and exciting,” dating coach and licensed marriage and family therapistPella Weisman tells Bustle. “That shared excitement is a way to have both closeness and stimulation, which is a great combination for sparking things back up.”
2. Break Out The Netflix
Recent research from The University of Aberdeen shows that watching box sets together can result in higher relationship commitment and satisfaction, especially with couples who don’t have a shared social group. So yes, Game of Thrones could actually save your relationship.
3. Go Somewhere You’ve Never Been
Just pack a bag and go. Going somewhere new completely shakes up the relationship and I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love to travel. Not in the budget? Try to find some nice outdoors space nearby. “Whether it’s local or out-of-town, witnessing natural beauty together is very romantic,” Weisman tells Bustle. Even a quick park trip will do the trick.
4. Take Turns Surprising Each Other
“From personal and professional experience, I’d suggest couples try to create little surprises to make the other member happy like showing up for a date with your partner’s favorite cookies or bringing a small gift that signifies an inside joke,” Gestalt life coach Nina Rubin tells Bustle. Another great option? Take turning planning surprise dates. It reminds you how thoughtful your partner is and you’re trying new and fun things together.
5. Recreate The Beginning
If your relationship is feeling a little ho-hum and lacking spark, try to go back to the time it had all the spark. Remember your first date? Try to recreate it or, if that feels a little cheesy, just reminiscence about the early days of your relationship. Talking about those first impressions, awkward moments, and early days will inject some of that first love back into your relationship.
6. Amp Up The Sex
If the relationship is in a rut, chances are the sex is too. A new position, a new location, or even just having some spontaneous sex can help you get things going again. And once that connection is rekindled there’s a good chance it will seep into other areas of your relationship.
7. Say What You Appreciate About Each Other
Sometimes you need both need a reminder of why you love each other. It’s important for your partner to hear it and it’s important for you to say it. So if you’re feeling stuck or stagnant, take a minute to remind yourselves why you’re important for each other. Nobody wants to be taken for granted and it will help you reconnect and recharge your relationship.
Originally posted on Bustle