If you’ve ever wondered, “Does everyone have relationship issues?” the answer is, undeniably, yes. While some couples are happier than others, and some are definitely more compatible, every couple has arguments or really difficult conversations at least once in a while. It’s normal, but not everyone talks about them. You means you might feel like you and your partner are the only ones struggling, but a lot of relationship issues are more common than you think.
With all issues, the bottom line for making it better is communication. “Couples greatly benefit from carving out time for intentional conversations dedicated to assessing the relationship and tweaking anything that’s bothering either party,” psychologist Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell tells Bustle. “Even if everything seems to be going along perfectly, it’s wise to have these conversations to prevent minor nuisances from gaining momentum and becoming bigger problems.”
Even the best communicators can’t eradicate all relationship issues though. Here are seven relationship struggles that are more common than you think, because you’re not the only one who has problems with your partner’s family:
Catch your partner going through your texts? It happens. But it’s important to know what it means. “Snooping means you lack trust in yourself,” psychotherapist and neuromarketing strategist Michele Paiva tells Bustle. “People will say that it is the other person that they do not trust, but in snooping, we are actually feeling like we are not enough.”
Make sure you’re making your partner feel secure and explain to them that snooping isn’t OK.
2. A One-Year Itch
The start of a relationship is amazing, and around a year marks when a lot of couples are becoming long-term partners. But, surprisingly, it’s also when a lot of couples struggle. “After a year or so, the new relationship euphoria begins to wear off, and reality sets in,” Tina B. Tessina, aka Dr. Romance, psychotherapist and author of How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together, tells Bustle. “Both partners relax, and stop being on their best behavior.”
If you find yourself having doubts, think about whether you really like the person you’re with or just the person you thought you were with.
3. The Sex Waning
“In relationships, I find that whatever the level of desire between two people, it’s important that they stay connected,” Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Bustle. “For some that may mean kissing and cuddling and others that may be hot adventurous sex.”
4. The Family Fight
You may have some friends who are the perfect daughters-in-law or get along so well with their partner’s parents that they actually go for effing brunch. If you find your partner’s family difficult, you’re not alone — but you need to tread carefully. They’re not responsible for their family, but they are responsible for how they manage the relationship between you and their family, and that can be a fine line.
5. The ‘Ignore It Till It Goes Away’ Long-Term Problems
Have a long-term incompatibility issue, like only one of you wants kids or you don’t like living in the same place that for some reason, that you just keep ignoring for the time being? It’s really common. But it’s also not great. I know it’s easy to pretend future problems don’t exist because you’re happy now, but just make sure you’re not shooting yourself in the foot in the long run.
6. The Communication Fight
A lot of people are not happy with the way their partner talks to them during a fight. “Would you want the entire world to see you yelling at your partner for leaving dishes in the sink? If the answer is no, think about how you’d want to be seen on camera (probably as a mature, loving person who communicates clearly) and then talk to your partner that way,” dating coach and licensed marriage and family therapist Pella Weisman tells Bustle. “It’s OK to fake your way into being a more reasonable partner!”
Make sure you’re talking to each other the way you’d want to be spoken to.
7. Avoiding Each Other
If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you might not have the energy to face a fight. So, if there’s something off, a lot of couples just start avoiding each other. “If you used to watch TV together during certain times every night, and your partner is now opting for solo PlayStation time in the other room, this may be a hint they are unhappy, and not dying to spend quality time with you,” BetterHelp telehealth counselor and psychologist Nikki Martinez tells Bustle.
Make sure to address the issue head on, your relationship will be better off for it.
Originally posted on Bustle