I’m not ashamed to admit that I think one of the best sex positions is safe, old missionary. It’s a classic. You have the option to be really intimate and connected, it can be rougher or more playful— there are so many different flavors to it. When you’re looking to slow things down, it’s easy to do in missionary. In fact, it’s a great position for mindful sex.
“Mindful sex is all about connection,” Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Bustle. ” You need positions where you can look in each other’s eyes, be aware of each other, be in the moment and connect on a deeper level.”
But sometimes you don’t want to be more mindful — you want to make it a bit more wild. If you want some more interesting sex, there’s no need to pull out the karma sutra. The missionary position may not be the first one that comes to mind when you want to spice things up, but there are ways to do it. Sometimes it’s about the toys, sometimes it’s about the attitude, but either way, there are so many things you can do to mix up an old favorite.
So here are seven ways to make missionary more interesting — because power play is everything:
1. Get The Furniture Involved
I don’t mean taking it to your sofa (though I’d always recommend that too), there are actually little things already in your bedroom that can change up the missionary position in a big way. A pillow under your lower back, their toes getting leverage against the wall, there are a lot ways what you have around you can really up your missionary game. Play around and find what works for you.
2. Legs Up
Sometimes access can be an issue in missionary, but if what you like is really deep penetration, all you need to do is slowly move your legs up. Ideally your knees rest on their shoulders, but don’t worry if you don’t make it all the way — it will be intense enough.
3. Sit Back
Not you, but your partner. If you’re used to being face-to-face in missionary, have them rise up on their hands or forearms. You both can get an amazing view of what’s going on, plus you free up some space to play with your clit.
4. Use Toys
An easy way to make any position better is to add a sex toy. There are plenty that are good for both of you, but if you’re nervous to try, start with something small like a bullet vibrator. It’s especially good for missionary because there may not be much space, but if you use one on your clit you’ll both feel the benefits. You can also try a vibrating cock ring.
5. Talk It Out
One of the great things about missionary is that you’re so close to one another, it’s perfect for dirty talk with eye contact or just whispering in each other’s ears. You can start out just talking about what you like — the “dirty” can come later.
6. Power Play
Just because your partner is on top, doesn’t mean they’re in control. Try playing with the power dynamics to give missionary a whole new spin. Either have them stay still and buck your hips to meet them or grab their ass and control the power and the pace of the thrusting. It’ll give you a whole new appreciation for it.
7. Add Lube
Adding a vibrator a little too intimidating or too much hassle? Lube is like a one-up for every sex position. Don’t wait to use it only if you need it. Too many people think it’s only for times where you can’t have sex with out it, when in reality it can just be the icing on the cake. It’s especially good for missionary because it helps having it on hand if your partner likes some anal attention and it will make any clit play spectacular.
Originally posted on Bustle