7 Tips On How To Have A Super Successful — And Sexy — Threesome

Having a threesome can be an amazing, fiery addition to your sex life. It can be. But it also can be hella awkward. Not only are there three different people to think about and take care of, physically and emotionally, there are also just so many damn limbs flying about. It can take a while to get used to. But one of the best ways to make a threesome work is to make sure that you deal with some of the practicalities beforehand. Doing it with the right people and making sure that you talk it through first can be the difference between a mind-blowing sex marathon and a lot of uncomfortable silences.

My best threesome experiences have come when we were all single and all friends beforehand— as well as being people who were just really laid-back about sex. But most threesomes come from couples trying to spice up their sex life. And when you add a couple into the mix, things can get even more complicated.

Here’s what you need to know to make sure that your threesome is sexy as hell without any of the awkwardness.

1) Talk To Your Partner Beforehand

Firstly, if you’re in a relationship, you need to be very sure about what you both are looking for. If you’re thinking that this is a one time treat and your partner is looking to open up your relationship, things will end badly. Make sure that you’re both on the same page and know what you’re hoping to get out of the experience.

2) Choose Wisely

The person you choose is really important. Obviously it should be someone that you’re both attracted to. But then you need to consider if you’d rather it be someone you know— which has the benefit of being someone you’re comfortable with— or someone you don’t know— which has the benefit of being anonymous. This can make a huge different. Both options have pros and cons, so think it through and work out what feels right.

3) Set Ground Rules

I know that ground rules may sound boring, but I promise that they will help you feel comfortable— which makes everything so much sexier. Working out whether any sex acts are out of bounds, if you want safe words, if you’re going to have dinner or drinks first, and just talking about your general sex styles can make things go so much more smoothly. Oh, and obviously practice safe sex.

But you knew that anyway, right?

4) Relax Into It

It’s totally natural to be nervous, especially if it’s your first time. So have a glass of wine, get a massage, do something that’s going to make you feel more at ease before going into it. You don’t want to overdo it with the wine— you need to be present to enjoy the sexual dalliance coming your way— but being relaxed will help you open yourself up to new experiences.

5) Remember That You Can Opt Out

Also, remember this— you can always change your mind. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to keep doing it. It’s really that simple. If you’re feeling anxious, just remember that you’re in total control of the situation.

6) Keep Things Balanced

Threesomes with a couple have a tendency to go a couple of different ways. Either the guest star gets loads of attention or the couple just ends up going at it with each other, both trying not to make the other feel insecure. But the truth is, the sexiest threesomes are where everybody gets paid attention to. Feel free to swap around, experiment— even bring some toys into the mix.

You’re moving out of your comfort zone and there are so many amazing sexual experiences that await. You just need to get used to all of the limbs first.

7) Talk About It Afterward

To make sure that the threesome was happy and healthy, it’s best to talk to your partner afterward and just touch base. Maybe you’ll find that you both enjoyed it so much you want to make it a regular thing, maybe it’s better just for special occasions. Either way it’s totally down to you— it’s your sex life! But if you’re having any lingering niggles or if it made you feel a certain way, talking it out with your partner is the way forward.

A threesome, when done correctly, should be a totally hedonistic pleasure-fest. It is stimulating, exciting, and something that feels new and naughty in all the best ways. But to make it happen, you need to plan properly. Little things like making sure everyone is on the same page and setting out some dos and don’ts may not sound like the most smouldering activity in the world, but it will ensure that everyone feels comfortable enough to make the actual sex red hot.

So whether it’s only a one time thing or branching out into a totally new area of your sexual identity, make sure that everyone has a great time.

Originally posted on Bellesa Collective