A lot of us struggle with being confident in bed. Whether you’re inexperienced or have had a few bad experiences, it’s such a vulnerable and personal act that it’s easy to start doubting yourself. But instead of indulging too much in our own worries, we need to be aware that our partner might be in exactly the same position. As much as we might assume that everyone around us is more confident than we are, that’s just not the case. Sometimes we need to snap out of our own heads.
Maybe they’ve told you that they’re nervous in the bedroom, or maybe it’s just something you sense, either way, if you think they’re feeling a little nervous, try focusing on building up their confidence. How do you do it? Well, two things. First and foremost, show them what a great time you’re having, because everyone loves that. Second, make sure you’re picking sex acts and positions that aren’t going to feel overwhelming or make them feel like they’re out of their depth. There are plenty of positions out there which you can use to help their confidence, not hurt it.
So here are the best positions for when your partner needs a confidence boost, because we all need one sometimes.
How To Do It: Your partner basically just has to lie there. You straddle them and lower yourself down. You can lean forward or backward, bounce or grind. Just really let yourself go for it.
Why It Helps Them: Sometimes, you need to do the work. This is a position that they can lay down and enjoy, but it builds their confidence watching you enjoy yourself. Plus, it’s an amazing view.
2. Coital Alignment Technique
How To Do It: For them, it’s just like missionary. Make sure your pelvis is positioned a bit lower than normal and your legs are around your partner’s hips, for better stimulation.
Why It Helps Them: Missionary is an easy position that they’ll feel comfortable in, but it’s also a great position for you to have an orgasm in — a definite confidence boost.
3. The Bridge
How To Do It: Start in missionary, but have them move back to sit on their heels while you place your feet flat on the bed. Then push up into a bridge while they raise you up into a high kneel. Work those glutes.
Why It Helps Them: Another one where you’re doing most of the work, but because it’s an unusual position, your partner can still feel like they’re acing an advanced move. Oh, and the clit play makes it fun for you, too.
4. The Cross
How To Do It: Your partner lays on their side, while you lay perpendicular, with your legs over theirs. Pull yourself toward them and shimmy down while you guide them inside you.
Why It Helps Them: An unusual position that’s tricky to get into but easy to do. You can still make eye contact and talk to each other, so you can make it clear you’re enjoying yourself.
5. Face To Face
How To Do It: Lay curled facing each other on the bed, but make sure your hips are above your partner’s. Hook your leg over their hip and pull inward until you’re close enough to get them inside of you.
Why It Helps Them: If they’re really nervous, a position like this, with a lot of intimacy and not much movement, can be really reassuring.
6. Doggy Style
How To Do It: It’s a classic, so you’ll both be able to get into it easily. You get on your hands and knees and spread your legs so they can kneel in-between them. Then they enter you from behind.
Why It Helps Them: You know how you can feel like a porn star in cowgirl? This is the position where your partner gets to feel like one. And it’s not even very hard to do. Plus, you’re getting G-spot stimulation — and your hands are free for clit play, so you’re sure to enjoy it too.
How To Do It: Another laying down one, but make sure your hips are above your partner’s. You should be pressed up close so they can enter you from behind — it may take a couple of tries, so lift your top leg to make room if you need to.
Why It Helps Them: The ultimate comfort position. You get to feel close, connected, and have amazingly deep penetration and G-spot stimulation. It’s like a damn hug of a sex position.
We get so focused on our own insecurities in bed, it can be easy to forget that our partner might be having the same feelings. Make sure that you take charge and focus on positions that won’t overwhelm your partner — but mostly it’s about showing them what a great time you’re having.
Originally posted on Bustle