Originally posted on Bustle
Worrying about your partner cheating crosses a fine a line. On the one hand, you want to know the signs someone’s being unfaithful so you don’t get screwed over by a cheating partner. But on the other hand, you don’t want to spend all of your time worrying about cheating and seeing things that just aren’t there because you’ve made yourself paranoid.
But while cheating does happen — and you should be aware of that — it’s also crucial to be with someone you truly can trust. Naturally, a relationship can’t be healthy or long-lasting without a foundation of trust. But if you’ve been cheated on in the past or seen friends go through it, it’s natural to worry about it happening in your relationship, too.
Of course, you don’t want to spend all of your time worrying about a partner cheating on you, so it’s crucial to find the balance between being aware of the telltale signs and trusting your partner. And, in a recent AskReddit threadwomen talked about how they stopped worrying about their partner cheating on them — and it’s really fascinating. From gaining perspective to trusting their gut to journaling, here’s what they had to say about getting over the fear of infidelity.
1. Realize That It Can Strain The Relationship
It’s true. If it’s going to happen, there’s probably nothing you can do to stop it. If they cheat on you, it will say more about them than it says about you.
2. Let Go Of Regrets
The benefit of the doubt can be a powerful thing — show your partner you trust them and hopefully they’ll be trustworthy.
3. Realize Your Worth
Would you want to be with the kind of person who doesn’t treat you like you’re worth it? This redditor is right, being alone is better than being in the wrong relationship.
4. Journal Your Thoughts
Sometimes, you need to journal and see a professional — and there’s no shame in that at all.
5. Trust Your Gut
If you can stay balanced and grounded, then you should trust your instincts as much as possible. Sometimes, you just know.
6. Acknowledge Your Insecurities
Knowing the difference between insecurities and real threats to the relationship can be a huge help — as can giving yourself time to heal if you need it.
7. Accept It As A Possibility
I’m not saying you should assume that it will happen, but if you start to accept it as a possibility rather than fixating on it, it won’t take up so much room in your thoughts.
8. Know Your Boundaries
Boundaries are so important in any relationship. They create mutual respect and can make a relationship so much stronger.
9. Put It In Perspective
Sometimes, cheating is the end of a relationship. Sometimes it’s just a stupid mistake. It’s OK to see the difference.
Communication is the answer to everything, I swear.
11. Be With Someone You Trust
Sometimes, you just find that person who you can relax with.
There’s no doubt that cheating can tear a relationship apart — but it’s also important to remember that anybody can cheat. That’s not to make you think it’s inevitable, but it’s to allow you to stop obsessing over it so you can try to live your life. Sure, it might happen and it might be horrible. But you’ll handle that when you get there. Know the signs, but don’t let it keep you up at night.