Originally posted on Bustle
Just in time for National Masturbation Month, sex toy retailer Lovehoney released a survey of 4,500 people, so we can learn all about what people are really thinking about when they masturbate. I think it’s great, because anything that opens up conversations around masturbation is a step in the right direction. Because most of us do it — I mean, it’s too good not to. “There are an endless number of reasons to masturbate. Learning how to make yourself orgasm is the most empowering experience you will ever have,” Vanessa Marin, sex therapist and founder of Finishing School, tells Bustle. “You’ll also learn how to teach a partner how to bring you pleasure.”
In fact, having a partner doesn’t change that much. The Lovehoney survey found that 59 percent of men and 51 percent of women masturbate when they’re in a relationship — and why not? It’s still a great stress reliever and the perfect way to treat yourself.
And while it may be no surprise that most people masturbate, even when they’re in a relationship, the really interesting thing is the way people masturbate — what are they actually fantasizing about? Lovehoney looked at the answers to give us an insight into what women think about and what men think about when they pleasure themselves. So what are guys thinking about? It might surprise you, because it turns out dudes get pretty nostalgic.
1. A Sexual Situation With Their Current Partner
Isn’t that sweet? So it turns out that 69 percent of men think about their current boo when they’re getting down with themselves. Interestingly, only 60 percent of women said the same, so it may be that men are a little more sentimental. I mean, as sentimental as you can be while masturbating. They’re probably not listening to Unchained Melody or anything.
2. A Sexual Situation With A *Previous* Partner
Told you they get nostalgic: 58 percent said of men said they think about a former flame while they’re masturbating. Those memories are just stored away for a rainy day. A rainy, horny day.
3. Erotica Seen Online Or Via Mobile Device
It’s basically what the internet is made for. In fact, I’m kind of surprised it came this far down on the list, but 57 percent of men said they’d thought about something they saw online. Which, again, I’m surprised isn’t even higher.
4. Sexual Situations Involving Role Play
Nearly a third of men — 32 percent— thought outside the box with role-play fantasies. Obviously, when it comes to role play there so many different options, so it’s no surprise that it would appeal to a large portion of men. There’s something for everyone.
5. Sexual Situations Involving BDSM
It’s definitely one of the top fantasies. 30 percent men have channelled their inner Christian Gray and thought of BDSM scenarios. But it was slightly more popular among women, with 34 percent thinking about the rough stuff.
Bottom line? It turns out that male fantasies aren’t that different than women’s. Which is great news if you’re hetero, because that means there are plenty of fantasies that can become realities. Let’s make it happen.