Originally posted on Bustle
A recent AskReddit thread looked at things women think turn men on it but, in reality, don’t do a damn thing — or actively turn people off. Now, on the one hand, it’s no surprise that there’s some real sexist BS in there — and ultimately, it shouldn’t matter what a guy thinks of your behavior as long as you’re happy and kind. And it’s also a little ridiculous to think that any man is going to be able to speak to what turns all men on or off, but it’s still interesting to get an insight into some men’s minds.
One of the big problems? Faking orgasms. But that’s problematic for both men and women.
“The idea of women faking orgasms is actually a very disempowering, bothersome concept,” relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW tells Bustle. “The point of two people having sex together is so they can be close, feel intimate, and enjoy sexual pleasure together.”
And it’s good to know that men don’t like it either— because it’s really not doing anyone any good.
But that’s not the only thing that didn’t do it for the men of Reddit. So if you want some insight into what did and didn’t work, here are some of the highlights.
1. Don’t Play It Down
OK, so I’ve definitely seen this — but let’s remember that society punishes intellectually capable women. Which brings us to…
2. Yup, there it is.
Usually that’s just us not dumbing down, but OK whatevs.
Any kind of bragging sets yourself up for disappointment.
4. Just Be Honest
Faking it is never a good idea.
5. Following Bad Sex Tips
There are some real shockers out there, to be fair.
6. Calm Down, Ladies
Reach for the lube and loosen your grip.
7. Talking About Your Ex
… OK, that does sound awful.
9. Don’t Fake This, Either
Although I would say 100 percent of the time I’ve fake-laughed is when I’m awkward about how awful everything is going. It just comes out.
11. Jealousy Is Never OK
This is definitely true — for any gender.
12. This Beauty
I honestly have no idea what this means. But it gets bonus points for imagery and a made-up spelling of ‘time’.
13. THE TRUTH
I love you, goodstuff. I love you a lot.
As you might have expected, some of these make total sense while some of them are ridiculous. But I think we know what it all boils down to — just be yourself. If they don’t like it, who cares?