Originally posted on Bustle
When it comes to the best sex positions out there, not everyone agrees. Some people have different styles or preferences — and what one person loves might just not work for another person. That’s totally fine. But do men and women have different preferences?
TBH even if a male partner has a favorite position, it shouldn’t be all about them. They should enjoy doing it, in part, because you do too. “First and most importantly, a mature man will focus on you in bed,” Samantha Burns, couples counselor and dating coach at Love Successfully, tells Bustle. “He’s not fully absorbed in his own pleasure. He’s committed to showing you a good time, and hopefully an orgasm.” And so positions that men swear by should be making sure that you both get what you need.
Like I said, a lot of it will come down to personal preference. Some women will like really rough sex while some men will prefer something more gentle and intimate. But no matter what, you should be able to find some crossover that you both love. Because these positions that men swear by have a whole lot to offer women, too.
How To Do It: The classic missionary is straightforward, but feel free to mix it up. Try wrapping your legs around your partner, thrusting up your hips, or putting your ankles up close to their shoulders.
Why Men Love It: Because basic doesn’t mean boring. “As boring as it sounds, my favorite position is missionary — it’s a classic for a reason,” Bobby, 26, tells Bustle. “I like it because it’s comfortable, gets the job done, and is inarguably one of the more intimate positions in the (metaphorical) book. BUT the trick to good missionary is to make slight adjustments. I tend to like it when my girlfriend wraps her legs around my hips as I thrust.”
2. The Cross
How To Do It: Have your partner lay on their side while you lay perpendicular, so your pelvises line up. Slowly move toward them and hook your knees over their legs while you guide them inside you. It may feel odd at first, but once you get it right you can relax and enjoy it.
Why Men Love It: You may want to try this position if your partner has a tendency to finish too soon, because men love that it can keep them going. “This is a good one because he has a pretty limited range of motion,” Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, tells Bustle. “… It’s great for lazy Sunday afternoon sex, and another good option for taking a break in between positions.”
3. Woman On Top (Modified)
How To Do It: Straddle your partner, but rather than having them lay flat on the bed make sure there’s something they can lean against. It’ll mean they’re closer to you and have better access. The wall works, but pillows can help too!
Why Men Love It: Guys don’t always need to be in control. “I like when the girl is on top and I’m sitting up, so we’re face to face,” Bradley, 28, tells Bustle. “It’s intimate, and great for grabbing her butt or playing with her boobs.”
How To Do It: It’s easy to get into — you’re on all fours with your partner between your legs — but it’s all about the tweaks. You can try your legs closer together or farther apart, play with your clit, or experiment with lowering onto your elbows.
Why Men Love It: It’s great access for them, and offers a nice view. “I like when she’s bent over and on her knees and I’m behind her,” Daniel, 22, tells Bustle. “I like that it gives me more leverage and power, and that I can work different angles and depths, and I can also pull her hair.”
5. The Splitter
How To Do It: While in missionary, have your partner lean back on to their heels and then up to their knees while you lift one leg up. It might be a tight fit, so lube should help if it’s taking a few tries.
Why Men Love It: It’s a great position for intense penetration. “This position allows him to get in nice and deep,” Marin says. “Being on his knees give him good control, so he can make the most out of each thrust.”
How To Do It: This is an easy one. Lay in the spoon position, but make sure your hips are higher than your partner’s. Then help guide them inside of you — you may need to lift your top leg to make it easier.
Why Men Love It: For you, there’s great G-spot stimulation, while for them it may just be about laziness. “‘I’m probably biased because I love morning sex, and spooning is the best position to ease into after waking up,” Mike, 25, tells Bustle. “It’s essentially the X-rated version of cuddling. It’s intimate and erotic at the same time, plus it’s easy to reach her nipples and clitoris when I’m right behind her.”
7. Sofa Brace
How To Do It: Think doggy style but with a twist. Kneeling at the edge of the sofa, lean over the edge and grab onto the sofa to help cushion the thrusting.
Why Men Love It: If doggy is good, this position adds an exciting twist. “Rear entry is always great for maximizing penetration, and this more upright position doesn’t disappoint,” Marin says. “In this position, your bodies will be pressed up against each other’s, and he can easily reach down to stroke your clitoris. Always a plus.”
Just because these are the positions some men love, doesn’t mean they’re not great for you, too. If you’re looking to switch things up, the best position out is one that’ll make you both happy.