Originally posted on Bustle
How many times do you fall in love? Well, there’s no universal answer. People can fall in love with a lot of people, just one or two, or even confuse falling in love with infatuation.
“Falling for a partner and falling in love with a partner are two different things,” Dr. Jenn Mann, author of The Relationship Fix, tells Bustle. “The myth is that love is all about attraction, fun, and sex. But being in love is more complex and mature than all of that. Those things are only a small part of the big love picture.”
But it’s interesting to see how many different times people consider themselves having been “in love”. I have friends who have told me they’re madly in love about twice a year — while others are far more reserved about throwing around the “L” word.
A recent AskReddit thread asked users how many times they’ve been in loveand the answers were all over the place. From people who felt like they fell in love with everyone who walked by them to those who have never felt it, you can see just how different everyone’s experiences are. Love lives come in all shapes and sizes. Here’s what Reddit users had to say about how many timesthey’ve fallen in love.
1. “Every Time I See Her”
I don’t care if this is true or not, because it’s sweet as hell. It’s lovely to see people who are still crazy about each other, even when they’ve been together a long time.
2. “Five Times Within A Span Of Four Years”
That is worryingly precise in a way that makes me feel that none of these went well. Not a single one.
3. “One Hell Of A Painful Lesson”
I warned you — not all of these are quite so positive. Sometimes, love hurts, and sometimes, it hurts enough to turn you off of it for a very long time.
4. “Twice A Day”
I definitely know these people. They fall in love with whoever walks by — and often believe that they’re falling really hard — until it happens again like one hour later.
5. “One Time”
Sometimes, once is enough.
6. “I Mean It, But…”
I feel for the girlfriends. And, actually, I feel for the Redditor, too. It can be difficult to know if you’re really in love or just swept up in infatuation — but loving someone and being in love with them are definitely different things. It’s easy for feelings to get hurt.
7. “Only Truly In Love Once”
Some people think that there’s only one “real” time, although I can’t say I agree. In my experience, that first over-the-top first love is often more like infatuation, but everyone is different.
8. “As Many Times As Possible”
Some people just love the idea of being in love… with anything, apparently.
9. “Only One Time”
Never telling someone how you feel must be excruciating, because you can carry that around with you for so long afterward. It might be better to share your feelings and hope you have no regrets.
10. “Four Times”
I love the people who have a specific idea of exactly how many times they’ve been in love, but it looks like the most recent time has gone the distance for this person. They’re still going strong.
11. “Only Once”
Only one time in love but still friends with the person? That sounds like a very brave soul indeed.
12. “Typical Movie/Love Story Cliches”
Love can mess you up, but it’s nice to see that they don’t have any regrets. And sometimes falling in love and being in a relationship can just feel like too big of a burden if you’re already stressed.
13. “A Few Times”
I get that this poetic, but I’m not going to pretend that I followed the whole thing. The roller coaster though, that definitely feels universal.
Some people love being in love, while others protect themselves until they’re really sure they’ve found something that feels right. Whether you feel like you fall passionately in love regularly or you’ve never felt it all, there’s no wrong answer.