How Much Sex Do Couples In Long-Term Relationships Have?

Originally posted on Bustle

When it comes to how much sex you “should” be having, it really comes down to what you want and need as a couple — especially when it comes to a long-term relationship. Because some people really manage to keep that spark alive even if they’re having less sex or it changes through the years. “Sex is often seen as something we outgrow or can easily go without, but sexuality and intimacy are an expression of our life force, creativity and love, and must be expressed to be fully realized as a people,” Lauren Brim, a sexual wellness coach and author of The New Rules of Sex tells Bustle. “If our sexuality isn’t being expressed, it will show up as problems in other areas of our body and life. Plus, sex is just too damn good for you to live your life without it!”

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Luckily, it looks like a lot of people are still managing to keep it going. On an AskReddit thread people who had been together a long time — like, at least 10 years — talked about their sex life. And while some people had had it fade out almost completely, it was impressive to see how many couples were still getting down on the regular and reported having better sex than before. Even some couples who had stopped having sex had started again and were doing it all the time. It really was a mixed bag. Here’s what they said:

1. Non-Existent


Some of them weren’t so hot still.

2. On The Reg


Kids getting in the way — more than lust dying over time — was a recurring theme.

3. All Good Now


After 16 years, that doesn’t sound so bad.

4. “Plentiful”


That’s definitely my new favorite adjective to describe sex.

5. 4x A Year


Hey, whatever works.

6. Wonderful, Thoughtful, And Experimental


You can fill in the blanks.

7. Even When There’s No Sex, There’s Always Intimacy


They’ve got the right idea.

8. Better Every Time


That’s the way to do it.

9. Still Great


It’s all about trust.

10. Mission Accomplished


What more could you ask for?

11. Better Than Before


Even though it’s different, they still seem OK with it.

12. 10 Years Of Fun


And they’re still going.

13. Amazing


It all comes back around.

Sure, for some couples, sex is non-existent — but not for everyone. So just because you’re together for the long haul, doesn’t mean the sex —or as one couple pointed out, the intimacy — has to go.