Originally posted on Bustle
Having amazing sex doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. What one person thinks is really great sex would be someone else’s most uncomfortable sexual experience. And this this AskReddit thread shows exactly that. Basically, the people of Reddit decided to share what they thought was overrated in the bedroom — and the answers are pretty incredible. Because while some people brought up things that a lot of people think are too hyped — I’m looking at you, 69 — you can also see that one person’s sex trash is another person’s sex treasure. And that’s the last time I use sex trash in a sentence.
But it’s really interesting. It makes you see why sometimes, when you have sex with someone for the first time, you can wonder what the hell they think they’re doing— and why anyone would find it pleasurable. I’ve always thought that sexual compatibility was just as important as skills in the bedroom. Looking at these, it seems like it may be even more important. So if you’re not sure what your partner is into — or even if you think you know— make sure you talk about it.
“[Couples with healthy sex lives] have awkward conversations,” sexologist and relationship expert Dr. Nikki Goldstein tells Bustle. “Often people can have sex but are scared to talk about it out of fear that might offend their partner or it might be awkward. In order to have a healthy sex life, you need to have sometimes awkward conversations about what might not be working in the bedroom or what you want more or less of.”
1. The Old 69
It’s what they always say about pizza and Chinese food. They’re both great— but you wouldn’t want to mix them.
2. Coming First
I wish that I could get this printed on a T-shirt and hand that shirt out to every heterosexual man in the world.
3. Shower Sex
I have been saying this for years and nobody ever listens, but finally I am emerging victorious. It’s about damn time.
4. The First Time
Yeah, I think for a lot of us this was simply underwhelming. Its just often not the big deal that you think it’s going to be.
5. Lesbian Sex
Well, I mean — I’m pretty sure lesbian sex isn’t overrated to lesbians and other women attracted women. I’m pretty sure in those cases, it’s pretty damn fine. But I can see how someone might think they were going to like it but then not actually think it’s all that.
6. Deep Throating
Interesting. A lot of people think of deep throating as the holy grail of blowjobs, but for some that’s obviously just not the case.
7. Hand Jobs
I don’t think they’re alone in this. Hand jobs can just be totally blah. I never thought they were fun to give and, apparently, they’re not always fun to receive either.
8. Toe Licking
I feel like they must be watching a very specific type of movie for it to ‘always’ be thrown in there, but still.
9. Focusing On The Orgasm
For a lot of people, stressing about orgasms can take the fun out of it. Letting go and enjoying the ride might be a better option.
Exactly. Yet another reason why outercourse is so important. Penetration just doesn’t do it for everyone.
Yikes — something’s getting spit-tastic. But, let’s be honest, there are a whole lot of bodily fluids happening during sex, so I’m not sure why this one would be any different.
12. Orgasms Generally
Apparently. I’ve certainly had my share of duds.
13. Blow Jobs
I have to say that this is the only time I’ve heard of someone not wanting a blow job — but sex is totally subjective, so you do you.
So it turns out that not everything works for every body in the bedroom. Like, not at all. So when you’re having sex with someone, especially if you don’t know them that well, make sure to feel it out and even talk it out. Then you’ll know that you’re both on the same page about what feels good.