Originally posted on Bustle
It can be hard to know if your relationship is almost over — but if you’re even worried that it might be, that’s not a great sign. “If you are even thinking this question, I would say that is red flag number one,” Marina Sbrochi, IPPY award-winning author of Stop Looking for a Husband: Find the Love of Your Life, tells Bustle. Still, there are lots of different warning signs that either you or your partner are on the brinks of calling it quits. In fact, a recent AskReddit threadfeatured people sharing how they knew a relationship was coming to an end.
Some of them were obvious, some of them were more subtle. Because every relationship is different and every relationship breakdown is just as unique. I’ve had some relationships that have gone out with a big bang, while others have definitely ended with a whimper — and others still just faded out of existence completely. So it’s fascinating to get a little insight into an intimate part of other people’s relationships. But more than that, you may see little nuggets of your own experiences in there as well. So here’s what real people said signaled the end of a relationship, because sometimes it just clicks.
1. When The Texts Were Distant
Withdrawing is a sign that something has shifted — either with your partner or in the relationship. Sometimes it’s emotionally, sometimes it’s physically, and sometimes it’s just not taking your calls as much.
2. When The Fights Stopped
It’s easy to assume that fighting a lot is a bad sign in a relationship — and it can be. But it can also be a worry if you don’t even care enough to disagree or just to work on the relationship.
3. When The Attraction Goes
Nothing about them has to change. Sometimes you just realize that the way you feel about them and view them has.
4. When You’re No Longer A Priority
It’s normal to be busy once in a while, but if you’re constantly shunted to one side and not made a priority, it can reveal that they’re ready to say goodbye.
5. When You Can’t Enjoy Each Other Sober
It’s normal to want to cut loose once in a while, but if you don’t actually enjoy each other’s personality any more then you might want to figure out why.
6. When They’re Avoiding You
Yeah, if they don’t want to see you then it may be that they’re working up the courage to leave. It’s important to talk to them about it.
7. When You’re Happier Without Them
Yikes. Sometimes, you just realize that you’re not around this person because you want to be, you’re just doing it out of habit.
8. When You’ve Stopped Communicating
If the communication is gone in a relationship, it can affect every other aspect. If you can’t get that back, you could be in for some real problems.
9. When You’re Forcing It
If everything seems like work, something’s not going right in your relationship.
10. When You Don’t Want Them Around
This is one that can sneak up on you, but it definitely happens. You may one day just realize you prefer when they’re not there.
11. When You Can’t Keep The Conversation Going
Sure, sometimes a partner may be needy or having a rough time and it can feel like you’re giving them a lot of attention. But a conversation shouldn’t feel like work on a regular basis.
12. When You’re Not Spending Time Together
Don’t underestimate the power of your gut. If you feel like something isn’t right, then you should look into it or bring it up.
13. When You Start Getting Passive Aggressive
OK, so I definitely don’t agree with all of these— I think checking out people other than your partner is totally normal. But passive aggression can definitely be a sign of deterioration.
We don’t always want to admit that a relationship is coming to an end. But as these posts show, the signs are normally there.