Originally posted on Bustle
We can’t control what happens in our dreams and, as many of us know, things can get pretty weird up in our brains while we’re asleep. You may find that you do something in your dream that you would never imagine doing in real life, but there’s no need to beat yourself about it. No matter what you dream you do — or who you do it with — you shouldn’t feel guilty about what you dream.
“There is no dream that is ‘inappropriate’,” Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, tells Bustle. “For instance, if you dream about someone who is married and off limits it doesn’t necessarily mean that you want that specific person. You should ask yourself what meaningful person or ‘thing’ do you long for currently in your life that you are missing.”
So try not to put too much thought into what you dream about. Of course sometimes, if it’s really personal, you can’t help but keep it in your mind after you wake up; and that dream hangover can be almost eerie. One of those instances is if you dream you have sex with your best friend. If that happens, it’s totally natural to start wondering if you really have feelings for them — or even feel like you’ve done something wrong, but try to remember that dreams are largely symbolic, so you shouldn’t take them to heart. Here’s what to keep in mind, according to experts.
It’s Probably About Closeness, Not Romance
No, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in love with your best friend. “While there could be a chance you have feelings for your friend, it’s not necessarily the case, and there’s no reason to feel guilty or weird around them after the dream,” Chris Brantner, Certified Sleep Science Coach at SleepZoo.com, tells Bustle. Well, that’s a relief.
But if you’ve noticed yourself feeling differently about them recently, that might be another story. “Of course, if the dream makes you question your feelings, maybe there is something there,” Branter says. “But more than likely, you dream is just a reflection of how close you feel to that friend. You obviously have a connection.” And if you’re close to someone and intimate with them, your brain might just be confusing different kinds of intimacies — and that’s nothing to worry about.
If It’s Recurring, Pay Attention
The big exception to this, though, is if you start having the same dream over and over. “However, if the dream becomes reoccurring, then I’d suggest you might want to take a harder look at that relationship,” Bratner says. If you just can’t get them off your mind, it may be coming up in your dreams. If someone’s taking up that much of your headspace, even if it is your BFF, it might mean that there’s something more at play.
But It’s Probably Just Your Brain Working In The Middle Of The Night
Ultimately, just remember that your brain does incredible things when you’re asleep — and that’s a good thing. We need REM sleep, which is when most dreams occur. So even if the result is some pretty whacky or even disturbing dreams, it’s still a good sign. “In the end, my job as a Certified Sleep Science Coach is to educate people about sleep,” Bratner says. “Rest assured that crazy dreams are all part of the weird and wonderful process that is sleep. Your mind has a mysterious way of working through things in the middle of the night. Whether the stories it tells are startling or not, take solace in the fact that it’s hard at work while you get the rest you need.”
Dreaming about having sex with your best friend might leave you feeling a little weird, especially if you’ve never thought of them in that light before. But if it’s not a reoccurring thing, don’t overthink it — it’s likely just your brain doing what it needs to do.