If you’re feeling nervous about a first date, you’re not alone. It’s so normal to overthink a date and obsession over every little details of what you think might happen. And, when that happens, way too many of us deal with the nerves by thinking about the date even more. We go over all of our Tinder messages with the person, we talk to our friends about it, we spend way too long getting ready. And while nerves are totally normal, there are far better ways to handle them.
Firstly, make sure that you only make first dates that you feel comfortable with. “One of the more important first date tips is to ensure you have both agreed in advance where you’re going on your first date,” dating site Match suggests. “Don’t be afraid to suggest somewhere you like and will feel comfortable. This means you’ll know what to wear (is it outdoors or indoors? Casual or formal?). It also means you can tell a friend where you’ll be on your date and when you’ll be home – a great safety tip for first dates.”
Once you’ve set up a date that you know you’ll feel cool and comfortable with, then there’s one good way to keep the nerves in check: distraction.
Make Your Minder Wander
Instead of going over every last detail or spending hours Facetime-ing your friend while you get ready, do something to get your mind off of it. Go to a workout class, spend some extra time in the office, read a book— anything that’s going to keep your mind busy will help so much. It’ll keep you from overthinking the date and mean you how up feeling a lot better.
Watch The Alcohol
It’s totally normal to want to have a drink or two to unwind on a date, but be careful. So many of my friends have gotten really drunk because of nerves and regretted it after— and I’ve done exactly the same. Make sure you don’t let it get away with you. Tinder Tuesday can mean a hungover Wednesday at the office.
Remember: It’s Just A Date
The easiest way to keep your cool is to remember that it’s just a damn date. Even if it’s a total disaster, it’s just a date. You’re not solving global warming or performing brain surgery. It’s just dinner or drinks and even if it feels awful you never have to see the person again. Ever. So try to keep some perspective— in the scheme of your life it’s not a big event. Try to have fun with it.
It’s completely normal to feel nervous about a first date, most people do. But instead of feeding into that anxiety by overthinking it and obsessing, try to take a step back. Distract yourself, do something different, and remember that it’s only a date. You’re going to get through in just a few hours and, whether it’s amazing or terrible, there are plenty more where that came from. You’ve got this.