You’d like to think that in the 21st century all of the old— and often sexist— rules of dating would be dead and buried. You’d like to think that, but you’d be wrong. So many people still rely on a formulaic version of dating. Women shouldn’t ask out, you need to wait to text— even the idea that men should still pay. Why are these rules still around? “These rules seem to offer a recipe for finding commitment and true romantic partnership, but what they invariably deliver is lopsided loving,” Dr. Jill Weber explains in Psychology Today. “In my experience treating couples and individuals, many hope that if they ‘play the game’ correctly, their prince or princess will be the prize. But because playing a game necessarily translates into masking your authentic self, these rules cannot deliver the kind of genuine partnership on which true love is built.”
And that’s the real problem. Dating rules are always really just one step away from game play— hell, sometimes they are straight up game play. That’s never a good thing. So rather than giving into the pressure, just remember that it’s so much better— and easier— to be yourself. Here are the dating rules you can feel totally comfortable throwing out the window.
Only Men Can Do The Asking
This is just total nonsense. You really want to sit around just waiting for people to ask you to do thing? No. It’s your life— go right ahead and ask. In fact, one survey found that 91 percent of men are all for it. And if you’re into girls, then one of you needs to take the leap. So what’s stopping you?
Wait To Text
This idea that you need to wait a certain amount of time or exactly the amount of time that it took them to write before you reply is bullsh*t. Sometimes if I have my phone I’ll reply right away, sometimes it takes longer. But you can text whenever you damn well please— who has the time to plan these things out? Life’s too short for those games.
No Sex Before The Third Date
Sex. Whenever. You. Damn. Well. Please. If someone chooses to have sex with you and then isn’t interested then they are a massive hypocrite and not worth your time. End of story.
Women Shouldn’t Pay
If you order it, you can pay for it. You have eyes that can read prices and a wallet that should have the money to cover it. The idea of men paying is a nice little throwback to the time when women didn’t have any money because we were basically just pieces of property who had to rely on our men and husbands to do everything for us. Why would we want to remember that— is it really something we want to perpetuate? Independence means that you can feel like an equal in the relationship and that’s so damn important.
To be honest, this is just the highlights. Basically anything that you do because you feel like you have to, because it feels like a rule or an obligation, is just not worth it. Dating however you want to. Because as long as you’re be honest, compassionate, and authentic, why should it matter how long it takes you to send a text?