Whether you’ve been together six weeks or six years, it’s totally normally to wonder “Is my relationship going to last?”. I mean, you shouldn’t be wondering it every day but, from time to time, the more you commit to a person the more you’ll want to be sure that it’s going somewhere. So how can you know? The truth is, you have to be willing to take a really brutal look at the relationship. Because in order to know if you’re going to be in it for the long haul, you have to admit what’s wrong with the relationship as well as what’s great about it. But that shouldn’t make you feel bad— because no relationship is perfect. Everyone has disagreements, bits of friction, and problems from time to time. It’s totally normal.
You just need to be sure that the incompatibilities and problems within your relationship are sustainable. So don’t panic because you have issues, just be honest with yourself about whether or not those issues are going to be OK in the long run. Because everybody’s got some.
So here are the signs that your relationship is built for the long haul, because fighting can actually be a really good thing— if you do it right.
1. You Know What You Don’t Like About Them
I know, you should like your partner, right? Of course you should. But if you think your partner is perfect, then you’re kidding yourself. If you know what niggles you or annoys you about the other person, but you’re sure that you can live with that, it’s a great sign.
2. Your Deal-Breakers Line Up
The big compatibly issues— kids, jobs, marriage, where you want to live— are effing important. If you’re not on the same page, there will be problems down the line.
3. You Fight Well
You’re never going to agree on everything, so conflict resolution and communication skills are key. When you fight well, you actually learn about each other and build the relationship up rather than tearing it down.
4. You Feel Comfortable Talking About Your Sex Life
Your sex life is going to ebb and flow— that’s totally natural. But if you can’t talk about it, then there’s a good chance resentment will brew underneath. Once you get used to talking about it, it will start to feel really natural.
5. You Act Like Silly Idiots In Front Of Each Other
It may sound crazy, but being able to act like a damn fool is so important. If you can’t be silly and goofy with them, then you’re holding something back.
6. You Talk About The Future
OK, maybe if you’ve been together six weeks you’re not going to be talking about the future— that would be weird. But if you’ve been together a while, you should feel comfortable enough to be talking about it.
7. Your People Get Along
Friends, family— you don’t have to be BFFs with your partner’s people, but you do need to get along with them. Or else it’s going to complicate so much of the relationship in the long term.
8. You Keep Some Independence
Codependent relationships are doomed to fail. Make sure that you’re keeping enough of yourself— your hobbies, your interests, your alone time. If you can be independent while being together, it’s a great sign for the long haul.
9. You’re Excited For A Future With Them
If they’re not right fit, your gut knows. If you’re excited about the idea the of a future with them, then that’s the first step down a happy road.
You never know what life will bring or how things will change, but these signs will give you an indicator of what the future might be bring for you as a couple. Don’t be afraid to take a long, hard look at your relationship— because you deserve real compatibility for the long term.