Originally posted in Bustle.
Having a one-night stand should be a lot of fun. I mean, the point of it is literally just to have fun. “A one-night stand is like a vacation,” Zoë Kors, a sex and intimacy coach, tells Bustle. “It can be very therapeutic to be intimate with someone who exists outside the structures of our regular lives. It’s a great way to step out of the bubble for a moment and play.”
But the truth is, they can go very wrong. Maybe you’re doing it for the wrong reasons, maybe you’re doing it with the wrong person — when it comes to a one night stand, you need to be careful. Because as much as it’s meant to be no-strings-attached, it can be a lot more complicated if you don’t do it correctly.
Luckily, it’s easy to avoid a messy situation. There are a lot of little tricks to make sure that a one-night stand is everything it’s supposed to be — a fun, weird, random break from the rest of your life. Sex for sex’s sake, where you can really let go of your inhibition and have a great time. Sound like fun? Here’s how you can make sure you’re having the best one-night stand ever.
1. Be Safe
First and foremost — you need to be safe. “The last thing you want is to have hot sex and then worry if you’ll catch something after,” Yue Xu, dating expertand host of the Date/able Podcast, tells Bustle. So don’t forget to be mindful and protect yourself.
2. Know Why You’re Doing It
A one-night stand has to be about the sex. “If you want to have a one-night stand, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons,” Dr. Megan Stubbs, a sex and relationship expert, tells Bustle. “That this is something you 100 percent want to do, and you aren’t being pressured or under the impression that this will make someone like you more.” If you’re doing it because there are emotions involved, just don’t.
3. Make Sure They Know Why You’re Doing It
Choose your hookup wisely. Either have it be someone random who you know is just in it for the sex too, or have some really clear boundaries. “It takes two very self-aware individuals to be able to navigate intimacy between friends without crushed expectations and misunderstandings,” Zoë Kors, a sex and intimacy coach, tells Bustle. “The aspects of freedom, play, and escapism that make a one-night stand so attractive don’t really exist when it’s sex with a friend. Open, honest, dialogue — with each other and with yourself — goes a long way in creating the clarity necessary for a positive experience.”
4. Ask For Exactly What You Want
If it’s all about the sex, you better make sure it’s good sex. So ask for what you want— and feel no shame about saying if something isn’t working for you. There’s one reason you’re here, so you’re going to get it right.
5. Try Something New
I mean, one of the great things about having a one night stand is that you never have to see the person again if you don’t want. So try something crazy — a new position, a new role play. If it’s awkward as hell, you never have to go back and do it again. Or even talk about it.
6. Or A Different Type Of Person
Who cares if they’re nothing like the person you normally date? You’re not dating them. This is your chance to go for someone who isn’t your type at all — and you might find that you really like it.
7. Treat Yourself
Get a new outfit. Light a candle. Put on music. Dig out your favorite underwear. Whatever is going to make you feel sexy, go for it. It’ll make you feel confident and relaxed — which will make the one night stand better. So take the time for a little self-care.
One-night stands should be amazing and fun and silly, so don’t take them to seriously. Just be safe and really go for what you want in the bedroom, because that’s all you really need.