How Do You Know If You Can Trust Someone?

Originally posted on Bustle.

Learning how to trust someone can be a very different experience for different people. For some, trust is something that comes really naturally — they give it out over and over, no matter how many times they get hurt. Other people find it incredibly different to let their guards down. So how do you know when you should trust someone?

It’s tough. Some people rely on gut instinct — especially when it comes to trust in a relationship. “I will always say gut instinct is how you know that you don’t trust your partner,” Danielle Sepulveres, sex educator and author of Losing It: The Semi-Scandalous Story of an Ex-Virgin, tells Bustle. “When your gut instinct is making you feel uncomfortable in response to something your partner says or does, I believe you should listen to it.” But others have a higher standards for what it takes to trust someone — in a relationship or in general life.

And people took to an AskReddit thread to answer this very question— what makes someone trustworthy? The answers really varied. Some people don’t even seem to trust themselves, let alone anyone else, while many felt that trust was something you had to earn. Everybody’s different, but you may find some answers in here that speak to you. Here’s what folks on Reddit had to say:

1. Listen To How They Talk About Others

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This is way too important.

2. This Depressing Thought

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Not even your own damn mother.

3. And This More Depressing One

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Seriously, guys.

4. Do They Lie About Little Things?

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This makes sense too me — I’m always wary of people who fib for no reason.

5Pay Attention To What They Ask For

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You feel like the friendship is more genuine somehow.

6. How Do They Treat Others?

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A good reminder that some people really struggle.

7Listen To Your Gut

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This person seems pretty confident.

8. Do They Trust You?

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It goes both ways, people.

9. When They’ve Proven It

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Sometimes, you need to see it in action to know.

10. Some People Are Always Cautious

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Talk about keeping your guard up.

11It’s All About Earning It

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This post probably says it best.

12. The Person Is Just There For You

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And not looking for anything more.

13. THIS

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OK, now I’m convinced.

Like I said, some people find that trust comes more easily, while others struggle. It’s totally normal to have your own standards about how someone earns your trust — just make sure you let your guard down sometimes… when it’s deserved.